What Vast New Expanse To Chart Now?

Every woman I know who has completed their transition from male to female has described the beginning of a new chapter in their life.   For months and even years, the very act of transition consumed immense effort in not only surviving but retaining any semblance of control behind the wheel.  Having transitioned myself, I’d even argue that it seemed at times where there was no one behind the wheel.   And perhaps transition can even be seen as being teleported through time and space, having the very atoms that comprise your soul and body split apart hopefully to be reassembled this time in perfect order.
If only life was so perfect. But change turned out to be good, and I’m glad I materialized on the other side of the teleporter in a wholly unique and new fashion.

Now I stand where so many of my friends have stood, at the end of the road I chose when I first stood at the Crossroads.   “Where to?” I ask myself.  I fear and wonder if anything else will happen in my life that will cause me to exhaust my last ounces of strength.  After all, cancer and a host of other health issues run in my family and I’m not always going to be in great health.   I can only hope that if such an ailment bewitches me that I will have learned to tap that powerful force that I never knew existed until I stepped out for the first time as my authentic self.

Life is relatively mundane for me right now.  I’m not complaining.  Finding rest along the way was absolutely critical for my success.  Learning to appreciate no pain is just as empowering as reeling from emotional and physical pain.  Remember what it feels like to have a splitting headache?  If you don’t have one at this moment, you smile and thank whatever Maker you believe in…or you pick up your Chihuahua and kiss her cold little nose at the very least.

I’m excited about the future, even though I don’t know what direction to take.  I’m also scared as hell.

I guess that means I’m as normal as the rest of y’all.

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